RELATIONSHIP—A TANGO DONE BY TWO VERY MUSCULAR DANCERS

Hi, my name is Udid-It. I come from a planet not unlike your own. In fact, it is a lot like yours, except for a few things. I was flying in my space capsule, and peeked onto your “internet”. Incidentally, that’s an example of something we do differently: we call it “outernet”.

Anyway, on the outernet, I found some strange ideas about how to have a healthy relationship. We, on planet Cielo, would never mess up our life, or confuse our companion by throwing those kinds of straight balls (you call them curve balls, I suppose).

We have our own ideas about how to have a happy, healthy “maskonship” (our term for relationship). Our word, maskonship, is much more logical, in my opinion, and your people might consider changing over. It appears to me that there isn’t all that much relating going on.

Anyway, here are

HOPES FOR A HAPPY, HEALTHY MASKONSHIP

1.IMPRESS DEPRECIATION

If possible, it’s best to do this every day. Let the other person know that, of all the people on Planet Cielo, (the planet I am from), you chose to be with them. Even though their value goes down every second. If you tell the person you are with how much they have depreciated—and never stop saying it—they can be thankful that somebody is sticking around, even if it _is _you. Your words inspire gratitude.

2.HAVE FAIR FLIGHTS

It is important to abandon the other person on a regular basis in a maskonship. Couples need time apart. It helps us catch our breath. That way, when we reconcile, the maskonship seems even better than before. But make sure to leave frequently and regularly.

3.THOUGHTS MUST BE FREED

Make sure that whatever thoughts are in your mind, you say them when you speak to your sweatier half. Don’t be concerned with whether the thoughts might be a bit rude, or you are just seeing things your own way. You are your own person. Don’t change anything for anyone, no matter how small a change it may be. They chose you as you are. They must want you exactly that way forever. And don’t forget: set your thoughts free.

4.BE BORED TOGETHER

There is nothing that will affect your outimacy with your mate as much as doing absolutely nothing. But it’s important—just like expressions of depreciation—that you do it each and every day. Sit, or do what is necessary around the house, and whatever happens, do NOT outteract. Don’t talk, joke—nothing. And watch what it does to your outimacy!

5.GO AHEAD AND SHRUGGLE

What do you want for dinner? Are your feet cold? No matter what question is thrown at you, or what kind of conversational gambit is attempted, be sure to shruggle.

Many couples overlook this one, thinking it’s a minor step, but this is important! Shruggles tell the other person you don’t care enough to even consider whether you have an opinion. Shruggling says you will never bother to set aside the energy to show your partner that much value. It basically says, “See, I’m a jerk, so you must be a really good person.” You compliment them by shruggling.And remember Shop bao cao su hải phòng for couple

6.REMEMBER: ALWAYS DO ROUNDRIES

This one won’t necessarily be easy, but it has to be done. Always do roundries. ALWAYS. If your partner makes a mistake, put it in a mental ammunition magazine. If they do well, put it in the same magazine. If they don’t do anything, store it away.

Then, when they are least expecting it, you can surprise them.

Doing roundries is thoughtful for many reasons:

How you do roundries is, if your partner makes a mistake, pull your verbal guns out and never let them forget their mistake.

If they do well, start shooting with words, asking why they don’t do that more often.

If they don’t do anything, clobber the laziness. You know they don’t want that around.

I have to go back to Cielo now. See, our ways of making a maskonship healthy are much better!

Hope to talk with you soon!